(This post is actually from the evening of February 5th; I forgot to publish it) Today it was 30 HCG, so a little more than double. Trying to get out of God's way and not think about it on the days in between betas. Trying to meditate on the beautiful things I see around me.
I'm growing snow peas. I realize now that I didn't plant enough of them. I also have an asparagus bed, cilantro, green onions, artichoke, cucumber, carrots, lemongrass, lemons, roses, tomatoes ... I have a good place to chill out in my head and get close to God at the same time. I believe in God, but I'm a control freak and very self-centered, which is why I get in His way all of the time.
I still stand by my first post about Progesterone hell though. If my beta was 12 the day I tested positive, all my symptoms -- namely, the "empty stomach feeling" had to come from progesterone. This feeling is still around but not nearly as prominent.
Symptoms now: barely sore breasts, a bit of watery mouth, uterine cramps, a couple of sharp pains on my left side, and a lack of appetite or nothing strongly appealing to me. Nothing's really satisfying once I eat it either. I had my favorite thing today - a vanilla malt with salted caramel and toasted marshmallows, but it didn't hit the spot. It always hits the spot! The only thing I really crave is apple pie from scratch, which takes me four hours to make. Maybe I'll celebrate our doubled beta by making an apple pie tomorrow or the next good beta.
On my last miscarriage, my first number was 38.7 and the next was 66, so it didn't double. I use that as a comparison. But just because it doubles doesn't mean it's viable. It all depends on whether we see a heart beat should we make it to our our first scan. I'm preparing myself while trying to remain calm and have faith.
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